Rescue Me
by saintlyseverus
Summary: One of our favorite agents at the BAU has suffered severely. This is the sordid tale of recovery, acceptance and survivalism. Only with the support of his adopted "family" will he make it through.
1. Chapter 1

His first moments of awareness were pain and panic; blinding, searing pain that burned through his torso and an all-encompassing panic at being held down and restricted in an unfamiliar place. Instinctually he tried to claw at the encumbrances holding him down, on his arms, his face, his chest and in doing so was met with a white hot bolt of agony that took his breath away and submerged him back into the depths of unconsciousness.

The next time there was less pain, but the claustrophobia was more intense. Here in this dark ominous place he felt chained. No worse than that: unable to see anything he was certain he was locked into a casket underground unable to escape. His breathing escalated and he knew if he couldn't control the hyperventilation he would run out of oxygen faster, using up whatever resources he had before he eventually died. He couldn't control it: he was too confused and too tired to fight his instincts anymore. The panic won again and he began frantically clawing at his surroundings, thrashing and attempting to scream but no sound came out: the worst possible kind of nightmare turned reality.

The pain and sensations were so real however he couldn't fully believe it was only a nightmare and confirming this out of the dark hands were grabbing him and holding him down, forcing him to remain in this miserable place without any chance of escape or freedom. The harder he thrashed the harder they held and the more exhausted his overtaxed and underfed body became. Who was he fighting for? What reasoning drove humanity to fight for survival under all circumstances? He thought of Maeve; he thought of Tobias: he thought about his mother. So many failures, so many stories rewritten and ended because of him. He wonders if she will even be aware he is gone, he hopes she never knows. Images slide in and out of focus, and he can feel the anxiety building as the pain starts to crescendo, and wishes for the one thing that has truly possessed his body and mind over the past three years.

He knows he's hallucinating in this hellhole when at the point he's sure his heart will explode from hammering so hard and so fast in his chest, when he's certain the end is near and the pain is so unbearable he can hear his own screams echoing inside his head and then the one thing he needs is coursing through his veins… leading him back into glorious drugged oblivion. Oh dilaud; my dime store heroin fix carry me home. There is nothing left to ground him and he allows himself to just give up. The one thing Spencer Reid has never done before.


	2. Hurt

It was happening again. He could hear the changes in their tones and knew it was inevitable that soon the first glass would break and it would be an outright war between his parents. He grabbed his pillow and blanket and went into the cave under his bed. He had known it was coming all day long, and had done everything in his power to try and avert the inevitable. Cleaned his room, cleaned the kitchen, made lunch, done the bathroom, tidied his mother's library and more. It hadn't been enough and his mother's behaviour had gotten more and more erratic throughout the day and her temper shorter and shorter. Things were missing, nothing was done right, and all of the problems of her life were all caused by those around her. He'd known what was coming, and pretended to have a stomach ache in order to go to bed early so he could hide away from the imminent explosion. It hadn't exactly been a lie: his anxiety levels had been so high all day that his stomach as in knots and he had no appetite for the dinner he had tried to put together (which also hadn't been good enough). His father had come home, sensed the tension, bolted back his pasta and salad over a terse few words at the dinner table and then poured himself a bourbon and gone into his den.

Spencer was left to deal with the aftermath and after a long week in school where he had been beaten up twice and gone without out lunch each day due to same bullies who had left him bruised and with a black eye. He was so exhausted, and dreamed of a day where he could protect himself and other victims from violence, fear and the general nastiness that was humanity. For now he just wanted to try and fall asleep and pretend his life was different. He started reciting the atom weights of all the elements of the period table in order to calm himself, and to ignore the growing pain in his stomach. He loved his parents so much, and he didn't understand why they behaved this way. He couldn't try any harder in school, he was already 5 grades ahead of his age group, and had scholarships lined up for every major university in the country (and a few from Europe too). His father generally hid at work and his mother spent her days either fawning or raging at him. They could start the day with her insisting that he was about his teachers and didn't need to go to school and that he could learn more from his own mother being as she is a (unemployed) university professor.

The pain in his stomach was getting more and more intense as he huddled under the bed, pulling his pillow out from under his head so that he could press it against the burning unrelenting pain. He tried hard to fight back the tears, grinding his teeth when he wanted to cry out when the pain spiked. The door to the room beside his slammed open, and his mother's shrill voice seemed to shake the air around him. He heard his father's emotionless response and then a glass hit the wall behind his bed and shattered. Unable to control himself as the fight and the pain crescendoed, Spencer cried out as it felt like him stomach was trying to burn through his skim and simultaneously turn inside out.

He was absolutely startled to feel someone take his hand in warm firm embrace and to hear a familiar comforting voice say "Spencer, its Aaron. You're safe. You've been hurt and you're in the hospital but you are going to be fine. Hang in there; I'm calling the nurse to get you more pain medication".

"H…Hotch?"


End file.
